I’m guessing that many people still agree with this one.  As a matter of fact, I was at a conference just a few weeks ago and this was one of the pillars that was taught in a break out session by a self described “expert”.    This is not only a myth, but believing in it wastes time, lengthens the sales cycle and inevitably leaves you waiting for the customer at the altar while they”re out partying with another solution provider.

I have either closed, or help close the largest deals in my life without ever:

• Conducting any serious entertaining (other than an occasional lunch)
• Knowing the prospective customer’s wife/husband or if they had any children
• Knowing what the prospective customer’s hobbies were
• Having a prospective customer know anything personal about me of any significance

And just so we are on the same page, these were significant, seven and eight figure deals with senior executives and on occasion, a board of directors.

But there was certainly one thing I DID know.   I knew more about the prospective customers business (where my solution touched the business) than they did.  And I mean everything.   Every detail, every nuance, every possible angle where my solution might have an impact.  I could stand in front of a group of executives/decision makers and discuss intricate areas of their business with absolute confidence and authority.

So instead of  getting them to “like” me, I created an atmosphere of  credibility and trust.  And I’m sure you would agree that credibility and trust will build a much richer relationship than “liking” someone.  I don’t know about you, but I never make critical decisions about my business based on who I like, nor do I believe any rational person does either.  But this “people buy from people they like” nonsense perpetuates itself like an unwelcome in-law who just doesn’t know when to pack up and leave.

So instead of wasting your time trying to get someone to like you, why don’t you INVEST your time in understanding the prospective customer’s business.  The benefits will be tremendous:

• By understanding their business, you will come across as credible and trustworthy; two very valued traits for any decision maker
• The sales cycle will be shorter since the decision makers will have confidence  investing in you and your company primarily because you were able to uncover more value for them
• You will dramatically differentiate yourself from your competitors (they’re still trying to get the customer to like them, remember?)
• Subsequent selling situations with similar companies will have you building on your already vast knowledge. This will establish a reputation for you as someone who knows what they are talking about.  When this reputation starts to spread among prospective buyers, they will begin contacting you rather than you trying to persuade people to meet with you
• You will have more referral business than you have ever had in your life
• You will be asked to speak in front of ever expanding groups of decision makers and industry veterans
• You will stop being seen as a vendor or sales person and come to be seen as a trusted adviser

Oh, and one last benefit…you will find that because you have developed a geniune and lasting relationship with customers and prospective customers, you will be far more “liked” than you would have been trying to pursue being liked.  And I kind of like it that way….